Perry at the Priory
In the summer of 2004 Pericles the Decoy Duck spent a month in The Priory to get over his worm and bird seed addiction.
This blog was originally set up to chronicle his experiences and the inevitable escape attempts.
However, it refuses to die.
The Characters
Pericles - Our Hero
Ron - a Lemming, Pericles's roommate
Bob - a discontented lizard
Dai - a Llama
Schrondinger - a Cat, Dai's roommate
Hermione - a Peking Duck
Thaisa - a Duck, Perry's sometime girlfriend
Doris - a Turkey, Matron at The Priory
Skippy - a dodgy Kangeroo
Sandi- a Great Dane
and
Ethel - a duckling who claims to be the fruit of Perry's loins
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Day 13
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The only reason we're not all in the cooler right now is because Bob the Lizard is down there staging a dirty protest because they took his tanning lotion away.I don't know the full details but I gather it's getting pretty toxic in there.
So, as you will have guessed by now, we got busted and are confined to quarters. We found that under pressure we do not work well as a team and everyone is blaming everyone else.
And yet it all started out so promisingly. Ron and I were up early. Ron was very excited and insisted on wearing the flying helmet and goggles which he's been using as protection during those nocturnal closet-leaping sessions. I just made sure my WWII pigeon vest was on snugly.
We rendezvoused with Dai and Schrodinger in the stables, climbed into the pantomime horse outfit and mingled successfully with the outgoing steeds. There was a slight contretemps with one of the studs but Schrodinger quickly sorted that out with the business end of his claw. I'm not entirely sure what he did but I noticed the other horse was trotting very strangely after that.
Personally I think we started to go wrong once we'd cleared the Priory grounds. We should have broken away from the herd at that point and shown a clean pair of hooves. However, Dai was adamant we stick with the others for a while longer and do what they do. I knew that was a big mistake when I saw the training course. We'd been OK on the flat but this had jumps!
I knew Schrodinger would back Dai's decision so I appealed to Ron for his support. However, Ron just crouched in there with a kamikaze gleam in his eye and kept yelling out "Banzai" from behind the goggles.
That's when Schrodinger had the panic attack. I wasn't surprised; 30 minutes cooped up in that suit, gazing at Ron's furry @rse would have been a trial for anyone never mind a cat with severe claustrophobia. Still, there was no call to bite Ron like that.
After the fight broke out we really hadn't a hope. So I think it's pretty shabby that the other three are blaming me for our detection. Apparently horses - even pantomime horses - with two webbed feet are pretty rare. Wearing wellies was another dead giveaway.
Now Ron and I are locked back in our room. Ron's sent to me Coventry and is still plaintively yelling "Banzai" before leaping from his wardrobe, ricocheting off his trampoline and smashing into the ceiling. I've already confiscated his flying helmet and goggles but he's a determined little rodent and won't shut up.
I think in a minute there's going to be another fight...
posted at 10:35 AM
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